The sky is always blue beyond the clouds. There is always hope and encouragement here.

Monday, March 28, 2016


My name is Rhonda and I regularly practice the sin of gluttony.

Why am I saying this? Because it is true and I am tired of pretending that it isn't. And also I believe the scripture that says,

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

James 5:16 ESV

Notice that first word, Therefore. It is referring you to what was said in the previous verse, 

“And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.”

James 5:15 a ESV

Therefore confess your sins to be forgiven. 

It has taken me a long, long time to realize the scriptural truth that my eating habits are contrary to God's teachings and that makes it sin. 

And the only cure for sin is forgiveness. 

And the only route to forgiveness is repentance.

It has been a very long and shameful walk for me, just to get to this place of "Calling it what it is."

So I am asking for your prayers as I desperately strive to battle this sin and break the chains that I have wrapped around and around myself, locked and double locked and over time have lost the key.

But God, through Christ has give me the key and promises to be with me through me trials.

It was extremely hard for me to say all this openly. I am asking for your prayers and encouragement. 

God has mapped out a plan for me, through much seeking and prayer of my own. I know that it will probably be an uphill climb most days. 

I have put a whole lot of studying and seeking into this because honestly, I didn't want it to be sin, I wanted it to be genetics or a sickness or something that took the blame and shame off my shoulders.

I have come to know that for me, the way that I eat is sinful.

In the coming days and weeks I would like to share with you what I have learned. 

I know that the consequences of my sin: obesity, high cholesterol, swollen ankles, poor self esteem, shortness of breath, and only God knows what else, will linger on. Yet I know that as I fight, I will begin to see some of those things go away.

With God's help and your prayers, I can be free of this sin.

 I confessed my sin of gluttony to you. 

Gluttony is a sin. The Bible speaks on this subject. Why is it that we never hear sermons on this subject? Why don't we hear lessons on it? Is it less of a sin than telling a lie, or homosexuality or gossip? Is alcohol consumption worse or what about incest or adultery? No, sin is sin to God.

Gluttony is defined as the over indulgence or over consumption of food and/or drink, or obtaining wealth or material goods to the point of extravagance.

So I definitely fit this category with food and also with coffee.

After I typed the words yesterday, I hesitated awhile before hitting the post button. Did I really want people to know this about me? Couldn't I just work on this sin without sharing my secret? I understand that by opening up about this I am placing my every action with food into your eyes of judgement. It makes me vulnerable and I don't like that feeling at all. What if I fail. What if I slip up? How will you see me then? 

And also, I know myself well enough to know that I am not very reliable to keeping myself accountable. I need a trusted person to hold me to accountability.

So I would like to share some of my findings, reasonings, experiences and discoveries with any of you that are interested. If my experience doesn't interest you, feel free to scroll on by, however I am asking that you pray for me to be able to overcome this.

So far I have found six areas in my eating habits that are sins according to scripture. I am still studying to see if there are more. I will talk about these six things over the course of the next few days. 

If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore them in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:1-2 ESV)

Sharing deep secrets is hard. 

1. I ate a lot of food in secret. 

I remember times when I would eat snacks after my kids went to bed. I would try so hard to be quiet so that they wouldn't wake up. But once my oldest son asked me why I always had parties after they went to bed.

I remember hiding candy in my car. I hid candy in the freezer. I hid Little Debbie's in my bedroom.

 I have eaten whole portions of food, standing in the kitchen before I even set the table. 

I can tick off a list of times that I have eaten in secret, hoping that nobody would notice.

I am learning that eating in secret cannot be normal. It can't be right. Surely people shouldn't do these kinds of things. 

I looked for answers to this precise problem. The one that kept coming back to me is:

Stolen water is sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.” (Proverbs 9:17 ESV)

When I read and studied this in context I saw that the text is referring to folly or foolishness. And the Book of Proverbs has many verses about fools. They are not considered godly and verse 18 of chapter 9 says their way is death. Death is the wages of sin. Romans 6:23

So eating secretly is foolish, foolishness is not godly, ungodliness is sin, and sin is death.

And I could never keep this sin hidden from God. I KNOW that He knows all. So I was only fooling myself. But I wasn't even fooling myself because as soon as I did it, I would feel guilty and full of shame.

Would not God discover this? For he knows the secrets of the heart. (Psalms 44:21 ESV)

Eating in secret is one part of my sin of gluttony. I am confessing this openly to you. I realize the sinfulness of eating in secret and trying to hide my shame. 

But the good news is: For the GRACE of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, TRAINING US TO RENOUNCE UNGODLINESS and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, (Titus 2:11-12 ESV)

As a Christian, I live under Grace. Grace is God giving me what I don't deserve. He forgives me when I repent. And if that isn't enough, I also have access to the fruit of the Spirit which includes self control.

I have repented to God my sin of eating in secret, I have confessed this sinful behavior to you, and now I am going forward trying very hard to leave this sin in my past. 

I have tried to figure out why I felt the need to sneak eat. I wanted to analyze what, in my past, might have triggered it. But I finally realized that I was delaying my repentance by trying to figure out why I was sinning. The answer is I sin because I gave way to my desires. I cannot dig around and try to find a reason or excuse. I must accept full blame.

Please continue to keep me in your prayers.

2. Eating between meals or improper times

I have always learned and known that a person is to eat three meals a day. Again, I am not going to go into a lengthy dialogue about my growing up. Because the past is the past and I am dealing with the now. 

While practicing sinful eating (see, I still have trouble saying that I am a glutton) I did not eat 3 meals a day. No, I ate all day, anytime that I wanted. I did not have boundaries. 

I know that kind of behavior is not normal or correct, so that is why much of it was done in secret. 

Once I forced myself to understand the wrongness of this behavior I sought out scripture to back it up. (Because I believe that God speaks to every subject)

It is hard to find specific verses but I found an example:

And the men of Israel had been hard pressed that day, so Saul had laid an oath on the people, saying, “Cursed be the man who eats food until it is evening and I am avenged on my enemies.” So none of the people had tasted food. Now when all the people came to the forest, behold, there was honey on the ground. And when the people entered the forest, behold, the honey was dropping, but no one put his hand to his mouth, for the people feared the oath. But Jonathan had not heard his father charge the people with the oath, so he put out the tip of the staff that was in his hand and dipped it in the honeycomb and put his hand to his mouth, and his eyes became bright. Then one of the people said, “Your father strictly charged the people with an oath, saying, ‘Cursed be the man who eats food this day.’” And the people were faint. Then Jonathan said, “My father has troubled the land. See how my eyes have become bright because I tasted a little of this honey. How much better if the people had eaten freely today of the spoil of their enemies that they found. For now the defeat among the Philistines has not been great.” (1 Samuel 14:24-30 ESV)

Saul ordered the soldiers not to eat until the battle was won. They had won the fight on the previous day but Saul wanted his men to press on, focused on their task. He did not want them to be distracted by the spoils of war before the task was complete.

Jonathan, his son, was not there when this order was given so when he found honey (sugar) he ate of it. 

When Saul's men found out what he had done, They told Jonathan about the curse. And even though he was not aware of his father's charge, he did not say that. Instead he made a defense of his wrong doing and tried to place blame elsewhere.

I have done both of those things. I have made up excuses to MY OWN SELF to justify eating between mealtimes. I have also tried to place blame on others. "Oh, but so and so brought cookies. I couldn't be rude."

And many times food or the thinking about food distracted me from what I was to be focused on. And advertisers know this and play on it. 

I could talk about Biology and science. I can tell you how humans have eaten in the past and how and why they did that. But we are not the hunter/gatherers that we once were. We are no longer graze-as-you-walk people. Now a days, based on our lifestyle, Doctors have mapped out a healthy way of eating for us. 

And God, too, has proper times. The eyes of all look to You, And You give them their food in due time. (Psalms 145:15 NASB) He gives us our daily bread. Remember how He gave the wandering Israelites their daily manna and if they collected too much, it would rot? God provides food for proper times.

Keep deception and lies far from me, Give me neither poverty nor riches; Feed me with the food that is my portion, That I not be full and deny You and say, "Who is the LORD?" Or that I not be in want and steal, And profane the name of my God. (Proverbs 30:8-9 NASB)

#3 I ate too much food.

Eat everything on your plate, there are children starving in Africa. Have you ever heard that? I grew up knowing that we did not waste food. I also learned in my poor childhood that "good" food only came near payday and the rest of the time we only ate what mom could scratch up. 

I am older now and our money is not as tight. So we eat where and what we want. And aren't buffets just wonderful? You can have some of everything without having to make a choice?

America sure is the land of plenty and I am quite American. There didn't seem any reason to deprive myself of good food. 

But again I looked to the Word. 

Excess food consumption is a negative/sin.

Ezekiel 16:49 talks about the sins of Sodom and One of the sins is "fullness of bread." Other versions say, "excess of food." 

And again the verses I used previously also refer to excess food, i.e.: Proverbs 30:8-9, Feed me with the food that is my portion, That I not be full and deny You and say, "Who is the LORD?" 

I must always be mindful that my portions come from God. 

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. (Psalms 16:5 ESV)

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalms 73:26 ESV)

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” (Lamentations 3:24 ESV)

For me there is no doubt that excess of food has caused me physical problems. I am overweight to the point that the Dr has used the word obese. I have high cholesterol. Both of these "conditions" are brought about because I have not taken care of my body. 

I have used food as a drug to seek comfort, to try to replace boredom, to fill an emptiness, and to have a sense of not being deprived of what I deserve. I have relied on food to give me what I need to be looking to God for.

That is sin. And I repent. 

I need to change. I need to seek God when I need comfort. I need to find godly ways to replace boredom. I am not deprived and I have to stop listening to Satan when he tells me that I need or deserve more or better foods. God is my portion, He is my chosen portion. Thank You, Lord.

#4 Not being satisfied with the food offered

I am out of the loop as far as children's programming right now, although not for long. But from what I remember in between the programs would be cereal commercials and sweet juice boxes. As a truck driver, we get to watch billboards, one after another of ooey, gooey, luscious looking food. 

I don't care who you are, sometimes these things look better than the usual, healthy foods that you should be eating.

I have noticed a new, slang term being used. The word is "hangry." It means that a person is angry because they are hungry. 

When trying to eat healthy food choices, even though they taste very good, often I long for a greasy, sloppy, giant burger place burger with fries and all. And sometimes, I just want it so so bad. 

Cookbooks are always big sellers. Food companies are always creating new products. Food chefs are inventing fabulous delicacies. Food is an enticement to many. But to me, it really is. It seems that while giving in to this sin, I am either eating, preparing to eat, or thinking about eating.

Let me compare myself to a biblical example:

Remember the wandering Israelites? God gave them their daily bread in the form of manna. In case you don't know, manna is the food of angels. But they whined. I can almost see them shuffling along, shoulders slumped, talking, "Remember the food we had in Egypt? We had so much fish, cucumbers, melons, leeks, onion and garlic."

They were not content with the manna that filled their bellies, they wanted more than God was providing.

Yep, I can relate. I have often looked into stocked pantry shelves and pronounced, "We don't have anything to eat." It is because I am desiring something tastier that I already have my mind set on.

When Israelites escaping from Egypt complained, "Who shall give us flesh to eat? We remember the fish which we did eat in Egypt freely; the cucumbers and the melons, and the leeks and the onions and the garlic," God rained fowls for them to eat but punished them 500 years later.

God wants me to be filled, and grateful for His provision. He wants me to long for Him as a deer pants for water, or as the Israelites cried for Egyptian food, or as I drool over billboards.

Eating a burger is not a sin. But the longing for it, the desire that consumes, that's the sin. 

I must discipline myself to be thankful and grateful for the healthy food that I bring into my home. I need to make my food plan either weekly or daily and be happy and content to stick to it. I can have a day that a burger is my choice. Common sense is the key, common sense and sticking with the plan.

There may always be something more appealing, but God gives me good food. He wants me to make good choices. He wants me to not look to food for satisfaction. He is my portion.

Then God said, "Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the surface of all the earth, and every tree which has fruit yielding seed; it shall be food for you; (Genesis 1:29 NASB)

#5 Eating with too much eagerness.

Yesterday was a holiday and very very often our holidays mean food and lots of it. And as a woman when I know my family are coming, I start planning. What will we eat? 
I put a lot of thought into it, plan it out, try to include at least one favorite per person. It will be a feast. 
I shop.
I prepare. 
I think about it. I dream about it. I get excited. And the time comes and we gobble. 
And just like that, the food part is done. Well, except for the cleaning up and putting away. 
We anticipate eating. We enjoy the family. And the occasion, whatever it is, well yeah, there's that too. But when the occasion is over, when the family goes, we get out the food and we eat again.
Is it just us, is it just me? Does anyone else get excited thinking about food?
I know that Esau did. Remember him from the Bible? Jacob's twin brother, the one that came out first, the one that would by tradition receive the inheritance.
Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew, and he ate and drank and rose and went his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright. (Genesis 25:34 ESV)
 Esau sold his birthright for ordinary food of bread and pottage of lentils. 
There was nothing fancy or special about the bread and lentils here. But Esau wanted food and he wanted it now, fast, quickly. Gobble, Gobble, and then it was gone.
There is sin here, right? I mean I'm not selling my birthright I'm just fantasizing about food. I can get lost in the thoughts of it. And when I follow this up with the other aspects that I have already wrote about, it is a deadly sin for me.
God's word helps me with this as well. He really does speak on every subject.
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV)But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires. (Romans 13:14 ESV)
Gluttony is a sin. I commit this sin. I repent of this sin. But the hard part of this sin is the boundaries. Where are they? Can I not ever get excited about cooking for my family? Can I never eat the traditional meals at Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving? Everyone must eat, where is the cutoff?
With God's help and me looking to Him, seeking His guidance, Common sense, and healthy research, I will find the boundaries. I will learn my limits. 
Pray for me.

#6 Wanting rich, fattening foods
When serving 2 pieces of anything do you choose for yourself the better looking of the two? Or perhaps the bigger of the two?
When my kids were small I would let one of them cut the food into two, but the other one got to pick which one they wanted first. It was always fun to watch the exacting science of the one doing the cutting and the one choosing the slice would look at it from all angles before choosing.
Fancy restaurants charge extreme prices for rich, fattening foods. And people pay the prices. 
When is the last time you craved a bowl of peas? Yeah, me neither.
What is it that makes a banana split so tantalizing? It isn't just one ingredient, it's all of them together that make it oh so good.
I recently saw a post that said, If you're not hungry enough to eat an apple, you're not hungry. Well, there are many times I am so hungry, but not for and apple. There are times when I can't decide if I want a candy bar or chips, so I buy and eat both. I'm not proud of that.
Eli, the biblical priest of Samuel's day had two sons that also were priests. 
When people would bring in there meat sacrifices instead of taking the portion that was set aside to be the priests they would demand and take the best portions of the sacrifice. God was so displeased with their greed that He caused them to die.
Why then do you scorn my sacrifices and my offerings that I commanded for my dwelling, and honor your sons above me by fattening yourselves on the choicest parts of every offering of my people Israel?’ (1 Samuel 2:29 ESV)
Is God any less with my greed when it comes to food? 
No. Eating rich fattening foods all the time is greed. It is unhealthy. And it's sin for me.
Food is not to be craved in such a way. I have pointed out to you six ways that food is a sin to me. 
I no longer want to be a slave to my food cravings. I hate the thoughts of these verses describing me, For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things. (Philippians 3:18-19 ESV)
Just as Jesus breaks the chains of any sin, he can and will set me free from my bondage. 
I have repented. I am making and keeping food plans. So far I am keeping myself accountable. 
Food can be enjoyable as in this example:

Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved. (Acts 2:46-47 NASB)

I am going to continue day by day to work on keeping myself from sinning with food. I am trusting God that He will help me with this. I pray that the self control of the fruit of the Spirit grows in me. For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, And the hungry soul He has filled with what is good. (Psalms 107:9 NASB)

Please, please, keep me in your prayers

I don't want to go

Have you ever just felt like not going somewhere?
I have been in situations where I made plans to go somewhere and then when the time comes found myself hoping the other people cancel so that I don't have to. I just wasn't in the mood. 
When I worked at the school bus garage, some mornings I would pray for a snow day because I didn't want to have to drive in it.
I can remember other times when get togethers were planned, I found out who would be there and out of a long list of names, one name on the list made me not want to go.
I know of times I worried about if I would fit in.
Other times I wondered if I would know what to say, or would I say the wrong thing?
We have had to make deliveries of chemo medicines to hospitals by traveling ice covered roads, but because of fear, I didn't want to do the load.
And then there were times when I was so depressed that I just didn't want to be around anyone.
I would like to introduce you to Thomas. Thomas is a bit of a loner. He is a "Yeah, but," and a "What if?" kind of guy.
Thomas was one of Jesus' original 12. But he often questioned. After hearing Jesus teach once, he asked, "Yeah, but, how do we know the way?" (Paraphrase)
Jesus told him, "I am the Way."
Thomas' what ifs and yeah, buts ended up gaining him the label of "Doubting Thomas." I tend to think that Thomas might have suffered a little depression/anxiety issues. Maybe.
Let's take another look at him?

On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being locked where the disciples were for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld.” (John 20:19-23 ESV)
Wow, imagine this, 
Here you are the followers of the man that you believed was your savior. You thought that He was going to defeat the Romans and free the Jews from their government oppression.  Now they had killed him. He was dead. 
But just this morning the women came and said that the body was gone and sure enough it wasn't there. 
This fact has the Roman guard furious! FURIOUS!!!!!
So here they are, together, hiding out and trying to regroup. Where do they go from here?
Then Jesus appears. He is just suddenly here, among them. Wow!!
And He comforts them. He gives them PEACE. 
But, but.....
Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. (John 20:24 ESV)
Where was he? Why wasn't he with the others? Was he pouting? "Jesus wasn't who I thought He was?"
Was he sick? 
Was he afraid?
Why did he not want to be with the others? 
Perhaps Fear, anxiety, depression. Perhaps. But in any case, he wasn't there and he missed out. He missed out on the PEACE that Jesus gave. He missed out on seeing the risen savior, the hope of the Jews and the entire world. He missed out on seeing the one that they hoped would defeat the Romans instead defeat Death. He missed it. Because he didn't want to go.

He not only missed out, he didn't believe them when they told him about it. No, he shook his head, crossed his arms and said, "yeah, yeah, I don't believe you. Unless I see it for myself, I can't/won't believe that."
And 8 days later he got to see. He got to touch. He got to receive that PEACE from Jesus that took away all doubt. Jesus' PEACE took away all fear. And Thomas finally believed.
He became so strong in this faith, knowledge and yes, the PEACE, that he preached. He traveled and evangelized until he was eventually killed for doing it.

What am I missing out on when I am afraid to go?

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Preach the word

Paul said in 2 Timothy 4:2 Preach the Word.

But when you do, many will not hear and accept the truth, but  they would rather pick you and God's  word apart. 
They will gather up people who will tell them what they would prefer hear.

Don't be discouraged, don't give up. Keep on Preaching the Word. Don't change the message, don't change the method. Preach it.

“For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears THEY WILL ACCUMULATE FOR THEMSELVES teachers to suit their own passions,”
2 Timothy 4:3 ESV

IF I lose friends or family because they do not want to hear me speak about Jesus and His teachings, so be it. I live to please God.
If you repent to some extent, you will be free to some degree--- John Hagee

Thursday, March 10, 2016


I have noticed over the past week how many of my friends seem lonely or sad. As a matter of fact, someone talked to me yesterday because they said they noticed the same in me. We talked a long while and it really lifted my spirits. 
So then I passed along the favor by doing the same for another person. And we chatted for awhile.

Friendship Challenge
I have an interesting challenge for any of you that are willing. 
We adore our social media. We have our face in our devices all the time. Many of us have hundreds of "friends." And we can't wait to get on Facebook to see if our friends "liked" our stuff. 
And it's very true that I may know what your kids look like and what you ate for supper, but not know anything more about you, my friend.

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24 KJV)

So here is my challenge:
Read the above verse, then show yourself friendly. Each day for one week choose one person from your friends list that you know the least about and send them a message to their page. 

Tuesday, March 8, 2016


Many years ago my son got the lifeguard job at our churches summer camp. But before he could accept this position he had to have a certification course.
During the course he learned that when saving a drowning person, very often, you would get hurt during their panicky struggle. It is a risk that could prove to be very dangerous for the one trying to rescue.
I am very thankful that he accepted the risks and worked for 2 years at the camp. I am thankful for any person that willingly works a job that puts them in danger while protecting me.
I admire their sacrifice.

So this morning when I saw this picture on my news feed, I wondered about those that seek those that were saved but have fallen away and bravely go after them. It is not without risks. Very often they struggle against being rescued. 
How far do we go before we give up on getting them back to salvation? 
If they were drowning we would risk all. If they were in a burning building, we would make great efforts. Yet when people fall from grace, we often just shake our heads and tsk, tsk, tsk.
Why are their souls not worth our effort?

We say things like,
I don't want to push them further away.
I don't want them to hate me.
They have to want to come back.
I'm not perfect, who am I to judge them?

Well, what if they were drowning? Sometimes you have to push them away from you so that they don't drag you don't too. Push them away until you can get the proper grasp.
A drowning person doesn't hate you, they only see their struggle. When you come along and grasp their flailing arms, you seem to be preventing them what they perceive they need to do.
A drowning person DOES want to come back, yet they believe the struggling is their only way.
Maybe you didn't finish top of the class in lifeguard school, does that mean you are not still qualified to rescue?

I have friends and loved ones that have known the grace of God but have fallen back away. I want to be able to jump in and bring them back to the safety of God's grace. Lord, help me.

My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins. (James 5:19-20 ESV)

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. (Galatians 6:1 ESV)

Thursday, March 3, 2016


When my children were little if there was something that they wanted or wanted to do they would come ask. If I, for any reason, said no, they would go ask their dad.
Haha, the logic of kids, ask mom, but if she says no, dad can override her no. 
And very often the kids after conspiring with each other,  it would be the youngest to be chosen to come do the asking. 
And if there are visiting children, they become the askers.
Children are smart, much smarter than we think. Really, have you ever been outwitted or outplayed by children?
Many times, however, mischief arises because younger or the less naive listen to the "wisdom" of older siblings.

At times I find myself hearing voices of others around that seem to make perfect sense. Then you hear another view, and that view appears to be very well thought out as well. 
Scripture mentions this:
The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him. (Proverbs 18:17 ESV)
So how does one determine what to do?
The world, the movies, the storybooks, they tell us to follow our hearts. But scripture mentions this as well:
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9 ESV)
So what to do when trying to decide?
Scripture again speaks on this:
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. (Proverbs 12:15 ESV)
Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. (Proverbs 19:20 ESV)
Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel. (Proverbs 27:9 ESV)

Do you seek wise counsel? I am so glad that I have several good, strong, faithful women that I can go to for wisdom and advice. 
I do not know it all. I appreciate good counsel. 
I love when I see churches that have a mentoring plan. Our young/new members need someone to teach and guide them.