I was talking to a friend the other day and she confessed to me that she lacked discipline in her life. She said that she was having trouble getting motivated to do the things that she knows she should be doing.
I began to think about myself. There are some not so nice behaviors that I participate in sometimes that make me mad because I can't seem to stop doing them.
And then, too, like my friend, there are some things that I should do more often that I don't do.
Everyday is a constant struggle to battle the sinful human nature inside.
Even Paul knew this struggle.
He writes this:
“For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.
For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.”
Romans 7:15, 18-19 NASB
My goodness, if Paul faced this challenge and had such a hard time, is there any hope at all for me?
“Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."”
Matthew 26:41 NASB
I don't want to do bad things. I want to do good. Yet I mess up....often.
Like Paul, I don't understand it. Sometimes, I just wonder why. Why did I do that? Why did I say that? Why do I act this way? When will I do the right thing?
Most often I know immediately that I made the wrong choice. Within seconds, I realize the decision should have been different. Why do I not seem to know before the action? Surely I am not deliberately choosing bad behaviors, am I? What is wrong with me? Would it be, could it be that I am not "watching and praying?"
How can I be more alert and sober in my actions?
“one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.”
James 4:17 NASB
Do any of you struggle like this?