Curl your fingers into a fist, wrap your thumb around the first two fingers. Squeeze it. Shake it. Swing it.
Now lay your palm flat down on the table and relax. Now one by one, lift a finger and put it back down. It's pretty easy to do until you come to your ring finger. For some reason, this one seems a little harder to lift. It takes concentration and effort.
Think back to a time that you acted out in anger. Were you ashamed afterward? It is so easy to lose our temper sometimes. It is easy to let your feelings, thoughts and words to get out of control. And then the shame and the "I wish I hadn't done/said that" begins.
Yes, it doesn't make you big, bold and tough to be hurtful.
So apologize. Say you are sorry and mean it. Go start to that person, admit your shame and apologize. It makes you big, bold and tough to be able to do this.
But yet something that seems like it should be so easy takes so much thought and effort.
Just like lifting that ring finger, the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
Words can never be unspoken. And words are very damaging. But apologizing will file the sharpness of the words and will let the other person see how truly strong you are. Only a very strong person can offer an apology.
Matthew 5:23-24 (ESV)
23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.