Division

Very often the preacher will preach a sermon that tramples all over my toes. Ouch! 

But when that happens, I need to examine myself according to God's word and work on becoming what God would have me to be. It is the preachers job to preach the word. 

The elders job is to tend the flock, shepherd the sheep, that is you. Their tender loving care sometimes includes rebuke or correction.

Sometimes a woman that's more mature in the word will pull me aside and instruct me in a way that could help me grow stronger in the faith.

Sometimes there are those that get upset about something at church and instead of examining themselves, they begin a campaign against those they think offended them. 

They begin to whisper to others, seeking and gathering those they can and before you can say, "satan came to steal, kill and destroy," there are factions and divisions in the Lord's church.

I have been through a split that began by someone whispering around and building an army and eventually 27 people got mad and left the church. How sad that they didn't scripturally try to mend offenses, but instead lies and deceit was spread around.

Now after more than 3 years, at least half of those that left do not attend church at all. Wow! 

Now hear me on this, here is the problem: those that started this vicious whisper campaign will be held accountable as stumbling blocks to those that went away.

Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this-not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother's way. (Romans 14:13 NASB)

but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. (Matthew 18:6 NASB)

God gives us in His word a way to handle these issues. It is found in the book of Matthew.

"If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. (Matthew 18:15-17 NASB)

God's way is always the right way. You cannot do things your own way and think that it is better than God's way. 

If you are at odds with someone at the assembly, if someone there hurts your feelings, be faithful and courageous enough to deal with it God's way.

Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "V engeance is M ine, I will repay," says the Lord. (Romans 12:19 NASB)

God does not want us being vengeful and mean and spiteful

You do not "win", no ones wins when the church is broken and people stumble away from God.

World Tottering

Sometimes as I view the people and places of this earth it seems as if everything is out of control and spiraling downward fast. 

But then I read,

He established the earth upon its foundations, So that it will not totter forever and ever. (Psalms 104:5 NASB)

And I realize that God has this all in His marvelous control. Nothing escapes Him or catches Him by surprise. 

If you read the whole chapter of Psalm 104 you will see His greatness and His majesty.

I am very grateful to Him. I will praise Him to the end.

I will sing to the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praise to my God while I have my being. Let my meditation be pleasing to Him; As for me, I shall be glad in the Lord. (Psalms 104:33, 34 NASB)

But the sinners of this world will get their justice.

Let sinners be consumed from the earth And let the wicked be no more. Bless the Lord, O my soul. Praise the Lord ! (Psalms 104:35 NASB)

Hopefully, through our praise, worship and witness others will turn from sin and join us in bringing glory to our Creator.

Be joyful for this wonderful earth that He will keep from tottering forever.

Be joyful

Why do the times of Thanksgiving to our Lord for all His generous blessings and the season of celebrating the birth of our Lord and savior bring such feelings of stress, sadness, lonliness, depression, and fear?

Shouldn't this be a time for joy and gladness? What has perverted it? Why not lay aside all the "I need to" and "I have to" and "we still ought to"s and just be thankful and just be joyful?

Why do we have to decorate like Martha Stewart and cook like Paula Deen and buy for our kids like they are the Kardashians?

Why do we aggravate ourselves with so much influence from society?

Let us praise the Lord for His blessings upon us including the Most Blessed One of all and not put too much pressure on ourselves or too many expectations on our family members and just be joyful.

I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. (Psalms 34:1 NASB)

Are you playing?

When my kids were small they would ask me to play hide and seek. Sometimes I was busy and would tell them that I would play later.

"Oh, Mom, come on." They would whine.

"Ok, go hide." I would tell them.

Then I would continue washing dishes or whatever I was doing. Every minute or so I would call out. "I can't find you, still looking."

Playing this way usually bought me enough time to finish my task. But it wasn't "real" playing with my kids. I wasn't sincere in my efforts. They knew it and I knew it. It didn't feel right for any of us.

I wonder how many of us seek God in this way. "I'll look for You, God, later when I'm not so busy with living my life."

Or

We pretend to seek Him by doing things halfway or half-heartedly.

God knows the difference. We need to be sincere in our faith. Our efforts in worship need to be earnest. 

You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13 NASB)

Precious to Me

If something is precious to us we want to take care of it. We want to guard it and keep it close to us. We protect it. We enjoy it. We cherish it.

God says we are precious to Him. 

Believe it today.

God says, "Fear not!"

Why does He say that? "Because you are Precious to Me and I love you. And I am with you."

But now thus says the Lord, he who created you,

 “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. 

Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, 

 Fear not, for I am with you.  (Isaiah 43:1-5 ESV)

Anxiety/Depression

I am feeling fine now, but wanted to repeat this for the benefit of others.

I sometimes suffer from depression and/or anxiety. Although I now believe that I have had this even as a child, I was not diagnosed until 25 years of age. 

It is an invisible illness. Most people would not be able to see that you have it even while in the midst of the worst of it.

But it can be just as debilitating as any other illness.

And too many people suffer in silence because it is such a misunderstood illness. People that do not have it many times cannot understand that it is a physical illness as well as affecting you mentally, emotionally and even spiritually. 

It wears you out physically. You really get fatigued while going through it. A lot of the time you won't eat or you don't eat right so your immune system fails and you get sick.

I do not know what causes it, but I have learned some of the things that could trigger it in me. There are many medicines that can help. Talking with a therapist can also help. There are coping skills. 

It usually affects smart people and influential people, people most others would consider strong,  but it  knows no social or economic or cultural barriers.  Here is a list of some of the symptoms that I get.

Anxiety/depression symptoms:

Nervous/jumpy

Startles easily

Heart feels strange,  like to close the speaker at a concert

Ears throb, like hearing a heartbeat 

Creeping up my neck

Function normally, but no recollection of performing tasks

No concentration

Extreme lack of patience with others

Desire to be normal to the point of OCD

Sweaty

Quiet

Bad dreams

Tired

No excitement or interest in anything

Isolation

Doesn't want to be alone

Feels alone in crowds

Panics in stores or theaters or restaurants (cannot stand or wait in lines)

Loses confidence in your abilities

No sexual desire

Crying bouts

Hates loud noises

Does not want to be touched

Does not want anyone too close to you 

It is very hard and embarrassing to admit to and I usually don't ever want to talk about or even want people to know that I have it. That is because of the reactions and comments by those that don't understand it.

I once had a very well known and highly respected evangelist tell me to "quit ruining things for your family." Other well meaning but ignorant people will say things like, 

Just get over it!

Why don't you  pray about it?

Well, what's bothering you?

It's all in your mind, Quit thinking that way!

Really?!? Does anyone think that I want to bring affliction to my family? And nobody wants it to end as much as I do, but I can't just "turn it off" or I surely would. And I have spent more time in prayer over this than any can imagine. 

I honestly am not just trying to get attention. I could think of more creative and less painful ways to do that.

Look, I don't want your pity. I don't know why I am writing this and putting it out there. I guess I just want you to know me and understand me better. I am not using it as an excuse to get out of doing things, Or to manipulate anyone else. The guilt of that would make the anxiety worse for me. Maybe I just want everyone to know and understand that we all have burdens, we all have issues, we all have needs, we all have concerns. Each of us have loads that we must carry through this life. 

Even the people that seem the strongest, even the people that appear the happiest, even the people that look like they have it all, we all have our burdens and problems. 

We need each other. We need The Lord.

Pray for me, please. I am praying for you. 

Faith Bridges

I think most of you know of my fear of high bridges. And that is really a nuisance in my job as a truck driver.

I am getting a little better with that fear though. It is getting easier for me to drive across without the heart pounding anxiety that I used to have. Although the Beckley Bridge in WV still causes that anxiety every time.

I recently had to cross it in the fog. Oh my! This meant that I had to keep driving and moving forward through my fear even though I could not see very far in front of me or had no idea when I would reach the other side. 

I slowed way down, but I kept going forward. And I made it! I did, in time, come out on the other side.

That reminds me of Faith.

We sometimes have to slow down and just keep moving forward, knowing and believing that we will come out on the other side.

I know that the more faith bridges that we cross, the easier it becomes to KNOW that we will make it.