Very often the preacher will preach a sermon that tramples all over my toes. Ouch!
But when that happens, I need to examine myself according to God's word and work on becoming what God would have me to be. It is the preachers job to preach the word.
The elders job is to tend the flock, shepherd the sheep, that is you. Their tender loving care sometimes includes rebuke or correction.
Sometimes a woman that's more mature in the word will pull me aside and instruct me in a way that could help me grow stronger in the faith.
Sometimes there are those that get upset about something at church and instead of examining themselves, they begin a campaign against those they think offended them.
They begin to whisper to others, seeking and gathering those they can and before you can say, "satan came to steal, kill and destroy," there are factions and divisions in the Lord's church.
I have been through a split that began by someone whispering around and building an army and eventually 27 people got mad and left the church. How sad that they didn't scripturally try to mend offenses, but instead lies and deceit was spread around.
Now after more than 3 years, at least half of those that left do not attend church at all. Wow!
Now hear me on this, here is the problem: those that started this vicious whisper campaign will be held accountable as stumbling blocks to those that went away.
Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this-not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother's way. (Romans 14:13 NASB)
but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. (Matthew 18:6 NASB)
God gives us in His word a way to handle these issues. It is found in the book of Matthew.
"If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. (Matthew 18:15-17 NASB)
God's way is always the right way. You cannot do things your own way and think that it is better than God's way.
If you are at odds with someone at the assembly, if someone there hurts your feelings, be faithful and courageous enough to deal with it God's way.
Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "V engeance is M ine, I will repay," says the Lord. (Romans 12:19 NASB)
God does not want us being vengeful and mean and spiteful
You do not "win", no ones wins when the church is broken and people stumble away from God.