Have you ever been upset by something that was said or done at church or by a Christian brother or sister?
I think I would be safe in saying that we probably all have been.
I have been witness to disgruntled members that start "whisper campaigns" throughout the congregation.
They are upset and then proceed to upset others, build armies in their favor, or try to justify their own thoughts and feelings.
These campaigns can greatly harm a church, not to mention that they are unscriptural. They are cowardly, and born of Satan.
The Bible is very clear as to handle this type of thing. We just need to make sure we practice doing it in the proper order.
By following God's Word in every aspect of our lives, we will be living in accordance to His will.
We say that we don't want to go to our brother or sister because we don't want to hurt their feelings or because we don't like conflict. But by going around talking to others about what's bothering you will eventually either cause hurt feelings and distrust or turn into a bigger conflict or just bring more people into a situation where they don't need to be thereby perhaps causing them to sin as well.
Follow the Lord's guide in this:
"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. (Matthew 18:15-17 ESV)